Missed one day what a let down..

First I must apologize, I missed a day. Which means I need more time reflecting to make up for it today. But what an eventful few days. Yesterday I got to see my new baby face to face really well for the first time with our 12wk scan. All appears good and baby is healthy and active. What an awesome blessing.

I'm am constantly blown away by the process of creation. The forces involved to take two cells and form a functioning little person with feelings, emotions and character. Come 20wks and most of the babies systems will be made and just waiting to mature and develop. I know it's cliche but it is a very cool process and one that I sometimes forget to appreciate. Soon my clan will be 4 strong and life will upheave and change again. Another stage on my journey and weeks of trying to figure how we will all fit in our little house.

I don't feel like a dad. I have an almost 2 year old little person who runs around my house calling me daddy, but I don't feel like I thought being a dad would feel. Which in itself sounds funny but it is weird to think that my little girls sees me as her daddy. The one to rely on and depend on. The one who gives in when she needs spoiling.. Haha. There is something special about that parent kid relationship. I look at her and nothin else really concerns me. She loves me unconditionally, which makes it easy to return. That connection is powerful. Harness what that is like and realize that our connection with God is a million times more powerful. Wow...

I also feel the weight of the responsibility that brings. I want her to grow up confident, happy and emotionally intelligent. I paused today to reflect on how God must feel with all of us his kids. Running around like idiots, not listening, doing the opposite of what he says and all the while raising a middle finger in disrespect to our amazing creator. If lily did that to me, all day every day I would be crushed. Maybe God needs a hug, poor bugger. Look at the bunch of misfits we are. I worked out a new way to look at it today. Why not rather than WWJD, I'm thinking "what would make daddy proud".

Thanks for letting me share and you supportive words...

Tim