What a grouch

First of all,

I just wrote this huge post and lost it.... So frustrated....

It went something like this.

What a grump i have been the last few days. I have been struggling so much with getting upset at stupid things and frustrated with the unimportant. Im sure that my poor wife is having a very average time trying to live with me, probably for the last few months. I wonder if i am depressed... Now there is a great buzz word. You won't however hear me actually ever use at to describe myself. Once you know what ails you you have an excuse and put yourself in a box. No boxes for me thank you very much, fine for others but not me. But I wonder. It goes on from my laser post, no direction, no hope.

The world tells me that what i do, how much money i make, what stuff i have and what i wear tells me who i am and defines me. You know what, no matter how much i try i believe it. I try to reprogram myself to not care, but it never works. I feel like i want to be remembered, i want to do someone special, i want to change the world and be rich and famous. I want to find significance in myself and what i can achieve... However bible says... Da dunnnn wrong answer... Dam bible in the way of easy, world pleasing answer. But that doesn't seem to matter, in my heart of hearts i still feel like i want to be awesome at something.... Oh no... Early mid life crisis coming... Wheres my red sports car...

This blog is part of my reprograming, its me trying to realize the real important things... The problem is i know what they should be, but i struggle with the rebranding, the new management and the God friendly framework. He must increase and i must decrease... I know that money, career and power a great man do not make... But like i always say, it would bloody well help.

I need to learn to appreciate the little important things but i really suck at it... Wow i go a lot of green fur to shed yet...

Thanks
Tim